Let Your Heart Be Your Guide
By Dr. Gene Clerkin
A couple of months ago, I attended a social gathering for of a group of people on the path to higher consciousness. When I arrived, there was a group of about twenty people gathered in the host's living room. Each person had an opportunity to speak about who s/he was, why s/he had attended and what goals s/he had. Several of the people spoke about how they were working toward living a more conscious life.
The phrase “conscious life” basically meant making healthier decisions for themselves, others they might influence and the environment. It was interesting to note that most all of them had a basic idea of what to do. It became a question of how they could actually implement their ideas in the context of the current cultural paradigm and their own patterned behaviors.
When my turn arrived, I felt compelled to talk about my personal and professional desire to help people become more connected to their hearts. I mentioned that living a conscious life was an automatic thing if one was to be more connected to him/her heart.
While many people may think that the heart is just an organ designed to pump blood through the body, it is so much more than that. Experts in the field of Neurocardiology claim the heart contains up to 60% or more neural tissue, the same kind of tissue found in our brains.
The heart, just like the brain, has intelligence, albeit different from cerebral intellect. The heart's intelligence is holistic rather than linear, and responds in the interest of well being, sending intuitive prompts for appropriate behavior to the brain's emotional system. The intellect can function independently from the heart – as in stress situations – and block the subtle signals of the heart. Remember, it is our emotional system, not intellect, that prompts us to take action.
If we as individuals and collectively as a culture were constantly in stress or survival mode, it would make it difficult if not impossible to benefit from the guidance of the heart's wisdom. One could argue this is the case as evidenced by the current state of our society.
Problems that have stemmed from intellect without wisdom cannot be solved by intellect alone. If we as a society are to overcome our challenges and become more kind to each other and our environment, we must first achieve a level of peace and connection to our own hearts. Environmentally and socially conscious choices would then be automatic.
Our Parts Inside
By Andrea Schrage, MA, LPC, CMT
Have you ever thought of yourself as a person with many different parts, or aspects of yourself? Thinking of yourself that can be a little anxiety provoking. You may even remember the movie “Sybil” and feel a desire to back away from the topic.
However, I am asking you to bear with me and trust that this has nothing to do with the type of personality disintegration that was happening for that character. So, for the brave souls left, this is an introduction to a way of looking at different aspects of yourself that will allow you to take better care of you.
I have been practicing as a counselor for almost 15 years. My experience includes studying different modalities that include psychology, body-centered psychotherapy, and spiritual practices. The most profound teachings on my journey have been my personal experience with healing modalities and the art of mindfulness. What feels consistent in all of these modalities is that we all have different parts of us inside, almost like personalities. These parts have been given different names, such as, the Id, Ego, and Superego and the Inner Child. I have also found that when clients identify them, they find that they have a clearer understanding of themselves and their behavior.
Have you ever seen someone who gets angry and starts to act like a kid? One example of this is when they are being told that they did something to hurt someone and they quickly retort with, “Well, you….” That's what kids do
Another example is the part of you that jumps in and tells you all the ways that you are bad.
The parts vary and most have benefits if used properly. At different times, the parts may function as the self, child, teenager, perfectionist, overachiever, depressed part, worrier, focused only on happy, other focused, withdrawer, addict, playful, artistic, manager, parent, critical, voice, dreamer, or arrogant part/ego.
When you are not aware of these parts, it is easier for one of them to take over so that you are acting from that perspective only. You can imagine that when only one aspect of you is making decisions, you may be seeing a small portion of what is really happening. This becomes the crux of all communication problems.
A way to start understanding your parts is by looking at the categories that they may fall into. This will help you get an idea of the job that they are doing and help you to distinguish when is appropriate for them to display their talents. This will also help you reduce the habitual nature of parts that originated as a defense.
Exiles
These are often our most sensitive, innocent, open, and intimacy-seeking parts that contain qualities like liveliness, playfulness, spontaneity, creativity, and joi de vive. They are the parts that were most sensitive and therefore most impacted by the painful events.
These parts could arise from trauma, but they may also be parts that embarrassed your parents, parts that held unspoken family rules or peer group norms, and parts that learned how to not feel.
Managers
These are the productive parts that are responsible for our day-to-day safety -- often the voices that we hear most often. They are the aspects of us that want to control everything and are sure that they know best. They come from a place that will “never again” be hurt like before. They are the authors and enforcers of your stories and are created for protective reasons. They create your reality. They serve to block things from touching or hurting the exiles. They are the parts of us to try to make sure we are being externally seen in a positive way so that we can get that approval we did not receive in childhood.
Firefighters
These serve as the 2 nd line of defense when the managers don't work. They are our addictions and distractions, such as TV, eating, relationships, sleeping, alcohol, drugs, denial, rage etc. Over the years the firefighters pick less socially acceptable items because the first line of distractions stop working. Some people use physical distractions, such as illness or sudden pains. Some of the firefighters favor an impulsive retreat; they will leave the room or push the other person away. They are the parts that can make you feel fat, addicted, hostile, sneaky, sick, insensitive, and compulsive.
Managers often hate firefighters, though they have the some goal. Firefighters often rebel against managers by becoming more destructive. This can be seen as a parent (manager)/child (firefighter) relationship.
I hope this will help you begin to look at your parts and get support, as you need it. Feel free to email me with any questions about this process
AndreaSchrage@KarunaCounseling.com
To learn more about Andrea click here
or go to www.KarunaCounseling.com
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Our Present Experience
By Dr. Gene Clerkin
Each morning en route to the office, I have to make a left turn from Briarcliff on to Ponce De Leon. Anyone reading this that has to make the same turn knows that it's not an easy task since there's no turn signal at the traffic light. On one particular morning, I noticed a car across Ponce and facing me that was waiting to make a left turn in the opposite direction.
Unbeknownst to the woman in that car, another car was quickly approaching from behind. By the time the person in the approaching vehicle began to slow down, it was too late. The car waiting to make the left was struck from behind and sent rolling into the intersection.
Obviously, the driver of the approaching vehicle wasn't paying attention. In fact, I'm sure that's most likely how most of the accidents around the Atlanta area occur. As you know, it's easy to be preoccupied by any number of distractions of our modern culture. I'm sure most of us have experienced our thoughts drifting while driving or while performing any of our other daily tasks.
Clearly, the person in the approaching vehicle was thinking about some other situation, either in the past or the future, and not focusing his/her attention on the task of driving. You could describe this as a lack of presence.
Upon witnessing this incident, I remembered something Dr. Donald Epstein said. “All we can ever really do is to decide where we are going to focus our attention.” To put it another way, life is really about where we are choosing to place our focus, on a moment-to-moment basis. This principle holds true whether we focus on our body, our relationships with others or upon tasks we are performing.
Whenever we are not present, it is impossible for us to fully experience the true vibrancy or beauty of a situation. This is because our mind would be focused on a different place or time, even if it were imaginary. In this way we are missing the experience of life as it unfolds.
How would it affect our relationships if we could be more present and attentive to those we are with? How many accidents could we avoid? How much more productive could we be if our minds didn't wander off while we we're trying to complete a task or project? How different would life be if we were present enough to pick up on the subtle cues of our own body's wisdom?
If we could all work on being more present, I'm sure we would experience the world and each other is a much different and profound way.